People Potential Blog

Conflict Management Coaching Steps & Questions

1.  Allow client to vent about the conflict and its impact on him/her

• What’s going on?
• What’s it like for you?
• How’s the conflict affecting you?
• How’s the conflict affecting your work?

2.  Identify impact of conflict on staff and company

• What’s the impact of this conflict on your staff (or other staff)?
• What’s the impact (or potential) of this conflict on the company?

3.  Unearth source(s) of conflict

• What key differences are present in this conflict?
• What do you think is the underlying cause of the conflict?
• What’s the primary source of the conflict?
• How can you apply your understanding of the conflict to improve this relationship?

4. Discover style differences

•     What conflict style are you and the other person using?
•     What differences are there between your personality style and the other’s?
•     How might you adjust your style to resolve the conflict?

5. Explore interpersonal dynamics

•     Describe the interaction style between you and the other person?
•     How positive or negative are your styles with one another?
•     How does your style with this person differ from your interactions with others?
•     How can you adapt your interaction style with this person to address the conflict?   

6.  Notice who’s contributing to the conflict

• How are you contributing to the conflict?
• What peers are involved in the conflict? And, how?
• Which direct reports are involved in the conflict? And, how?
• What actions is your manager(s) taking in response to this conflict?
• Specifically, how are the others contributing to the conflict?

7.  Identify what’s contributing to conflict

• What relevant changes are occurring in your unit, department, or company?
• What about your manager’s role affects the conflict?
• How is the organization contributing to the conflict?
• What else is contributing to the conflict?
• What external changes are occurring now?

8.  Explore limiting beliefs

• What are your thoughts and beliefs about the conflict?
• What power can you exert in this situation?
• I hear you say, “I can’t” a lot. How would things be different if you focused for a bit on what you “can” do?
• You seem to be focusing a lot of attention on things beyond your control. What aspects of this situation do you have control over?
• I hear you saying a lot of “have to’s. How can you use more “be’s?”
• What risks do you need to take?

9. Consider other perspectives

• What’s a 180-degree different way to look at the conflict?
• What perspectives do others have about the conflict?
• What would the greatest mentor suggest you do about the conflict?
• If you were standing in the other person’s shoes, what does that look like?

10.  Clarify desired future

• What is your desired outcome?
• What benefits will that outcome bring you and others?
• How will this outcome benefit the department, organization, and customers?

11.  Assess/Identify areas of strength and development opportunities

• What skills do you currently have that you can apply to this conflict?
• What skills do you need to develop to handle the conflict situation?
• What skills could be beneficial to avoid future conflicts?
• How can you best learn these skills?
• In the past, what has worked best for you to successfully resolve conflict? How can you apply that learning to the present situation?
• Think of a person who is skillful in handling conflict. How could you apply those skills to your conflict?

12.  Brainstorm possible strategies

• What are some potential strategies to address the conflict?
• What constructive things could you do now to start addressing the situation?
• What conversations do you need to have, and with whom?

13. Discuss self-care and boundaries that need to be established

• What temporary boundaries do you need to establish to protect yourself?
• What are you doing to take care of yourself?
• Who can provide you with emotional support?
• Who can you rely on during difficult times?
• Who can you have fun with?
• How can you best manage stress associated with the conflict?
• Note: If your client is having a difficult time dealing with serious stressers, consider making a referral to an appropriate professional.

14. Determine actions to take?

• What course of action do you want to take?
• What’s the best action to take first? 
• What else do you want to do between sessions?

15.  Identify potential barriers to actions and ways to overcome them

• What could get in the way of your moving forward?
• How could you avoid obstacles?
• What are some ways to overcome these obstacles?

© 2008-2009. Nancy Branton.

The Power of a Dream: Coaching Clients to Create a Compelling Vision

The creation of a compelling dream (or vision) is one of the greatest gifts people receive from coaching. Once they have a clear dream, they can be coached to identify and take important steps to make their dream a reality. Usually, working to achieve a dream has a positive impact on them, and may also have a significant impact on others for years or generations to come.

A powerful example of an impactful dream is that of Dr. Martin Luther King (MLK). His dream gave hope to many and positively impacted race relations in the United States of America. On August 28, 1963, Dr. King stood on the steps of The Lincoln Memorial and delivered his famous “I have a Dream” speech as part of the civil rights movement. He said, “So even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. . . I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.’” And, he said, “This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, “My Country ’tis of Thee.” And, he summed it by saying, “This is our hope.”

On January 20, 2009, Barack Hussein Obama was sworn in as the 44th United States president, being the first African-American to hold this office. This event occurred one day after the MLK holiday and approximately 45½ years after Dr. King’s historic address. President Obama addressed the masses in the national mall and millions of others who were watching him on television. With The Lincoln Memorial in the distance, he reminded them how important it is “to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.” While people of various races stood together, Aretha Franklin, ‘Queen of Soul’ sang “My Country, ’tis of thee.” Although Dr. King wasn’t alive to see his dream come to fruition, he played a pivotal role in creating a significant change in race relations for future generations.

At times, people are without hope and do not have a dream for a better future. Some have no hope because their parents and teachers did not value their inherent greatness, and never encouraged them to dream big and pursue further education. Some lost hope when their employers gave up on them and no longer considered them promotable. Some seem to have given up hope for a better future after being emotionally damaged and/or devalued in their last workplace. For example, one of my clients resigned from her college faculty position because her colleagues were constantly devaluing her style of teaching and professional perspectives. Another client’s confidence was greatly diminished after being bullied incessantly by a supervisor.

Today, many people lack hope because they were laid off and fear they won’t be able to land a good job, given the current state of the economy. For example, a new client of mine has been without income for eight months since he resigned from a stressful work situation. And yesterday, his wife’s place of employment closed down with no advance notice to employees. Needless to say, he and his wife are feeling overwhelmed by these difficult circumstances.

Despite people’s difficult circumstances, there can still be room for hope. For example, Viktor Frankl, a survivor of dire, uncontrollable circumstances as a prisoner in a concentration camp, attributed his survival to the recognition that he still had one choice, and that was how he chose to view his situation. As coaches, we are in a unique position to be dream givers. And, when our clients have hope, they can see more possibilities and are open to fresh perspectives.

“Purpose is the anchor that secures us to life. . . which keeps us going when nothing else does”

—Richard Leider

To gain a sense of purpose, people need to get in touch with their deeply held values and passions, and then, to explore the legacy they want to leave behind. Here are some of my favorite questions on this topic to ask clients.

•    What do you spend time thinking about the most?

•    What important topics to do you like to discuss with others?

•    If there was one thing you could impact in the world, what would that be?

•    What training or education do you desire most to obtain?

•    What might others say you are most passionate about?

•    What are your favorite topics to read about?

•    What section of the bookstore do you gravitate to?

•    What causes or organizations do you donate the most time and money to?

•    If you won $100,000,000 what would you do with significant chunks of the money, besides what you’d spend on yourself and family members?

•    Whom do you admire the most? And, what about that person is special to you?

•    When you near the end of your life, what do you hope to look back on and smile about?

In order for people to be successful in the marketplace, they need to operate from a position of strength, not fear. As coaches, we should never play the role of ‘judge’ or ‘jury’ with our clients. Rather, we need to assist them in eliminating unnecessary, limiting beliefs and/or lies about themselves and in transforming them into truths and possibilities. Also, coaches can guide clients to uncover their gifts, strengths, and personal brand, and then, to coach them on how to communicate effectively their unique value to the prospective employer.

Here are some of my favorite questions to address clients’ limiting beliefs and to help them focus on their strengths.

•    What would your greatest admirer say about you?

•    Imagine yourself far in the future looking back on this time of your life–what did you do that helped you succeed?

•    On what topics do others seek your advice?

•    As you think about your greatest success to date, what was it and what strengths did you rely on most to achieve it?

•    What limiting belief do you need to say “good-bye” to? What would that allow you to say “hello” to?

•    What support do you need from others to make your dream a reality?

•    What do you need to say to family members and friends who aren’t supporting you on your goals?

•    From whom can you seek support to move you closer to your goals?

•    What positive self-talk do you need to have about yourself?

In conclusion, we will positively impact our clients when we do the following things: affirm them, ignite their passion, encourage them to dream big, believe in their ability to attain goals, assist them in overcoming obstacles, and shine a light on their strengths. Finally, I leave you with some further resources to equip you to be a purposeful coach!

Books on Purpose and a Growth Mindset

•    I Have A Dream by Martin Luther King, Jr.

•    Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson and Heather Kopp

•    Man‘s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

•    The Power of Purpose by Richard Leider

•    Something to Live For: Finding Your Way in The Second Half of Life by Richard Leider

•    Finishing Well: What People Who Really Live Do Differently! by Bob Buford

•    Wake Up. . . Live the Life You Love: Living on Purpose compiled by Steven E. and Lee Beard

•    Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, PhD

Books on Personal Brand and Strengths

•    Career Distinction: Standing Out by Building Your Brand by William Arruda and Kristen Dixson

•    StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath

•    StrengthsBased Leadership by Tom Rath and Barry Conchie

Tools and Assessments on Purpose, Values, Strengths, and Brand

•    Power of Purpose Quiz (free) - www.inventuregroup.com/Resources/Quiz.aspx

•    Calling CardsTM - www.inventuregroup.com/inventure-store/

•    “How Strong is Your Brand” quiz (free) - www.reachcc.com/brandquiz

•    360° ReachTM Personal Branding Assessment - www.reachcc.com/360register

•    Values Arrangement List (VAL) - www.leadershipcoachacademy.com/assessmentacademy.html

•    StrengthsFinder 2.0 - www.strengthsfinder.com

•    SkillScan - www.skillscan.net

Free Newsletters on Purpose

•    Subscribe to Purposeful Coach newsletter by Tim Kelley - www.knowyourpurpose.com/coaches

•    Read articles in On Purpose Journal - www.inventuregroup.com/Resources/OnPurposeJournal.aspx

Nancy Branton M.A., PCC is the President of People Potential Group, Inc., Director of the Leadership Coach Academy and Assessment Academy, and Instructor at Career Coach Academy. Prior to starting her own coaching business, she had 30 years in Human Resources as HR Director, Assistant HR Director, and HR Development Consultant/Coach. She has a master’s degree in Industrial/Organizational Psychology and has earned numerous coach certifications.

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Benefits of Personal Branding and Employer Branding for Talent Management and Career Management

While working in human resources, I heard managers say: “He just doesn’t fit in well here,” “What can I do to get better employees?” and “How can I get employees to stay longer?” Now, as an independent career coach I hear clients say: “I don’t like working for this company;” “I don’t like the management style where I work;” and “My work lacks meaning and I want to find more purposeful work.” So, what role can branding play in addressing both employees’ and managers’ concerns?

Many companies have discovered the competitive edge of employment branding. Candidates who know a lot about a company’s values, culture, jobs, work expectations, and typical staff can determine to a large extent whether or not it’s a good fit before they put the effort into applying for a specific job. And, that saves both the candidate and the company time and money in the selection process. Furthermore, it saves the company from the costs of making a poor selection such as on-boarding, on-the-job training, performance coaching, discipline, discharge, and possible lawsuit. And, it rescues the candidate from the negative consequences of a poor fit and eventual discharge. Those negative consequences could be stress, bad references, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and more.

The other side of the equation is personal branding for candidates and employees. Candidates who work with a career coach who understands personal branding comes out of that process with a clear understanding their values and needs, signature strengths, areas of weakness, distinguishing attributes, desired roles, and strongest interests are better able to discern what companies they want to work for and what jobs they want to apply to. Employees who work in a company need personal branding, too. Personal branding helps employees to target their immediate development needs, design a career plan, pursue leadership development (if appropriate), and determine if that company is the best place for them.

So, it’s at the intersection of personal branding and employment branding that the best hires are made for lasting results! Don't miss the FREE "A Brand You World" Global Telesummit on Personal Branding on November 8, 2007. For further details and to register go to http://www.personalbrandingsummit.com

Should I Leave My Job?

Are you wondering if you should leave your job?  Download and take the free assessment "12 Signals to Leave My Job" that's located at the top of the right column.  What's your reaction to it?  What other items do you think need to be added to it?

Characteristics of a Successful Leadership Development Plan

What do you think are the most important characteristics of a successful leadership plan?  Below, see Tacy Byham's findings from her recent thesis project.  What are your reactions to it?

1. Includes a variety of learning methods
2. Focuses on two or three competencies
3. Aligns with leader's personal goals, team's goals, and organization's goals
4. Is high-quality and put in writing
5. Leader's manager is formally involved
6. Leader is receptive to feedback
7. Has outcome-based measures of success
Source: "Factors Affecting the Acceptance and Application of Developmental Feedback from an Executive Assessment Program," Thesis by Tacy M. Byham